Before the Consilium Meeting, in regards to Raven’s Sentence.
Thrice – Diamond – Lion of Wrath -
Quiet, but also dreadful – like the distant ruble of thunder and its promise of destruction. Thrice speaks little to myself, or anyone else for that matter. He’s an enigma who cleaves to the arcanum I understand least. Knowledge is power, I’m sure the Mysterium would agree, and that gives me very little over Thrice. He’s nudged with my mind, if only in a small way, and likely others in the cabal. He gave Raven up to the Mysterium to receive their blessings no doubt, he seems very much the Lion. He is one I can not have against me, I do not understand his magicks and his is a stormy countenance. He bears worrying over and I must endeavor to avoid his wrath, to remain firmly a non-treat. The other’s are blunt and honest, provoking him, he will seek my aid so long as they seem a threat to him – this suits me well enough.
Overman – Thunder – The Gray Sage -
I’ve held the others in the cabal at length,trying to lift up the world alone like the proverbial Atlas. It’s folly and a waste of assets to make no use of those so near to me. My grander plans in the Shadow of the world – I know they can aid me little there. I’ve trusted my safety to Gelena but I’m sure I can find other worldly uses for all of them. Betterment of the world – who would blanch at that? Perhaps Noctys, changing the emotional influences on the world is but another form of mind manipulation…only on a larger scale.
Assisting this ‘drug issue’ has become complicated as well. Silver Wing, the sleeping ember of desire yet burns – following me to enlightenment as she blooms into the flame of perfection. When you become more than human – there are so few you could find to love and respect as an equal. I must be delicate, I must ger her to understand it is not the ‘drug’ or its cabal behind her torment, but one man. Abel, a Lion of such depravity that the world weeps around him. A danger to all, I will devote myself to seeing the Lex Magica brought down upon him by the harshest letter of the law.
I seek to aid all but I too can be distracted by the goings on of my proximity. I am no perfect being to carry about the changing of the world, but I have a wish to make it a better place with more joy and love. I see the weakness in myself, the difficulty I find in trusting others and seeking to find worth in them for my plots. I see the taint of the Lion upon me, the wary looks my cabal mates give me tells me that, but I will make use of the beasts strength and turn it into something better. It will be hard, I do not only fight the sickness of the world, but the sickness in myself.
Rameses – Star – Unknown -
I believe my earlier notes on our Obrimos may have been a bit rushed. He certainly shows some of the traits of a Lion – he has sought influence over and the support of the distractible Acanthus. Further, he shows great interest in my projects, seeking to put his own hand and mark upon them. Yet, at the same time, he expends so much energy and time keeping Nocyts from imploding, his method may not be the most efficient, but his sacrifice aids the cabal and out burgeoning reputation. I know not if he is a heavy handed Sage or a sentimental Lion, I suspect his heart is in conflict. I wonder what is to come, for this consilium meeting and Noctys’ response will surely test him. Their are enough Lions in the world, and no mortal man can change the world alone. It may be the time for me to give him counsel and support.
Noctys – Blood – Sage of Misplaced Principles -
Just as I said, the Stag will ever have have a seat at the table of humanity, so too is it best we are not all Sages. Noctys seeks to change the world, for the better, or at the least the more just. Yet, those he has protected, the psychopathic Lucid and now a the violent Raven who left us and is lost to us. I know he believes he is supporting justice – he would sacrifice the lives of hundreds for one if he felt it righteous. Concepts of ‘one for many’ or ‘for the greater good’ are little more than empty platitudes to him. His sense of loyalty, as other notes on Sages attests, is highly mutable. I envy his fire, but he would turn on this Consilium that has taught us and given us shelter, if he felt their decree unjust. Noctys would take the side of strangers against his own cabal mates and he would break the laws of the Consilium, a fact that troubles me greatly. Rameses tries to temper his fire, but it is too great, rather he should be directed or left unknowing when possible. Noctys is living testament to the follies of the Sage – lessons I have learned and keep close to my heart. I only home my teacher will not be consumed by his own flame, that the blaze of his demise does not catch us all within it.
Galena – Unknown – Stag Guardant -
Gelena, the bridge between Consili, a mage with great loyalty towards Blue Horizon. If it were anyone else, I would worry about her unique position and split loyalties. As it were, she gives us a potent ally, one with a martial bent… a potential shield against what may come. It is no surprise then, that she has performed so well in the role of Door Warden. It must be stressful with our lack of solidarity on so many issues, rather, nearly every issue. Many of my fears about Thrice are also quelled by her presence, she is the one he keeps closest. If his actions were to ever threaten the cabal, she would be the first to know and react. I trust Gelena a great deal – with my safety and a lion’s share of my secrets. I am relieved, in all honesty, that she is not a Sage. She is not distracted with trying to fix our fallen world and the great distraction that brings. She’s focused on the protection of the cabal and our consilium. Even if we can escape the Lie and this fallen world, stags will ever have a place with humanity. The grander view of the Sage brings him into greater conflict, it would be troublesome if one’s Door Warden were so distracted as myself.
Dio – Unknown – The Innocent -
It’s difficult to write about Dio after such blinding personalities as Noctys and Thrice. She is a kind girl that has not allowed Awakening to change her over much. Where once I thought she still slept, she has proved she cares about the welfare of our society with her heated arguments against Noctys. She has made Yojimbo a part of our cabal, teaching him and training him, with not a word to me about payment or praise. In many ways I see her as the humanity of the cabal, an exmaple to look upon when one grows apart from the sleepers, a reminder that we are still human. I don’t trust her as I do Gelena, fear her as I do Thrice, worry over her as I do Noctys, see greatness in her as I do Rameses, rather I simply appreciate her presence and the family bonds she presses upon a group of strangers struggling with great power. In a cabal where each body is a vote, many will seek to take advantage of her, to twist her thoughts or play with her heart. She is not familiar with the Byzantine systems she finds herself within and I can not be too open with her lest she unwittingly share my words with others in the cabal. It is something to worry over.
Upon the Return from the Amazon, found crumpled and forgotten.
It is important to understand – I have just returned from a trying journy. One that challenged my beliefs and opened my mind to a flood of new knowledge. My mind was taxed to its limit and the hours after returning to the sanctum… I simply could not suffer it then. I know it was weakness – a betrayal of the mission the Consilium entrusted to us all.
I do not understand what could have happened to so upset Thrice. Rameses, while driven, has proven himself to be rather selfless. If he was merely “looking” into Thrice, to better understand him, as Heart it is his duty and responsibility to help one so troubled. I would like to believe this is a misunderstanding – something we can work through and be stronger for it. I know Rameses cares about this cabal, and thats what matters.
There is a fire in this girl that I, for one, did not expect. Dio stood up for a cabalmate under threat of harm – stood against blind anger with onlt the strength of her will to gird her. It does not particularly matter that the one making the threats was also a cabalmate. It may also be that Dio has grown closer to Rameses in the week of relative solitude – without Thrice to trouble their…bonding?
It is a wonder to me that the once I once feared as unstable and dangerous should now seem the most…calm? As the cabal rages about, he is the essence of calm, detached from it all. I can only surmise that Rameses is to thank for the seed of calm that has grown within him. I hope its roots will grow strong – holding the soil of his being tight against the eroding forces afflicting this cabal. Perhaps in time he can lend that calm and strength to others – in the cabal or otherwise. I, at least, can feel that warming pusle upon my weary bones. It has taken so many to strengthen my flaggin faith in this cabal – but I have been blind. This cabal, it is my family now, this is not something I wish to abandon of throw away. So, maybe not in spoken word, thank you Noctys for giving my soul succor, for embracing your brother when he felt so lost and afraid…for saving me from the weakness of my self.
I recall, seems like so long ago, when we had captured that Lucid. The cabal was divided, what do we do with this threat? I remember Thrice wanted to force the issue, when we sat ouside, I thought it right just and even brave. Now, after the gun cam out in our home, it was nothing but: selfishness, rage and cowardice. There are rules – pulling a weapon on an unarmed brother and trying to right a persived wrong without the words of the cabal weighed, Thrice is a Loremaster not a damned Lictor. He is a brother in need – one that needs bound and calmed till the fever of his rage can be broken. His temper can not be suffered to continue, for the sake of us all.
Only days ago it was the three of us, Galena Thrice, and myself against the trials and wonders of the Amazon. Bothers and sisters against the unknown – it felt right. It pains me that I return and I must watch my siblings war on one another, but where I fled, Galena stood strong. She acted as a True Doorwarden – defusing the situation and putting cabal first. I must not let her struggle alone – as she calms this writhing entity we call a cabal – I must be there to cut out the rot. I only hope I can be as strong as Galena and that I never fail my cabal so fully, ever again.
A self-analysis – I’ve been lost of late so perhaps the exercise will ground me. I refuse to believe my life could change so quickly – that these broadened horizons would be so alienate me from those who only see a silhouette of the world. I love my brother and family still, but that disconnect I’ve felt all my life has become a vast sea. My cabal, they see the world as I do, know of the dangers the same as I, there is no distance there. Yet, my cabal is broken. My brothers fight one another and I do not know why. Hearing the quarrel my sisters come running to break them up…and I run to hide. Why? Why dis I abandon them when they needed me – when did I become this weak? I can’t better this world if I can not even face the problems closest to me. I have been weak – but I swear on my true name – I shall not fail them.