After Noctys' Departure

This was not what I had intended. Things escalated so quickly and ended up so badly. Regardless of my previous feelings towards Noctys, I really didn’t want it to end this way. I have never had to attack someone who had been (if loosely) a teammate. We never really saw eye-to-eye on, well, anything, but I had a job to do, and he should have been under my protection. But at the same time, all of the others are under my protection, too.

Yes, I know that in the end this was the right thing to do…that we saved ourselves and possibly the lives of many sleepers by our actions against Noctys. That still doesn’t remove the sting of knowing that you betrayed someone who should have trusted you. I guess there’s the problem—should. Neither of us trusted the other, so I suppose that made it easier to turn our backs on one another. Why couldn’t he have just told us where he was going? Was it so bad that he knew we should try to stop him?

I don’t know why he distrusted me so, but I suppose that doesn’t matter now. I have four other Embers to guard, and I hope they will forgive me for essentially exiling Noctys. I hope my actions have not damaged their trust of me, and if they have, I hope I am allowed to redeem myself to them. I do not want them to fear me, or worry that if they put one toe out of line, Galena will be there ready to take them down. I want us all to trust one another, communicate, and work together, for we have too many other threats to have to worry about internal ones.

After Noctys' Departure

Chaos Theory Ailise